Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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