If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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