if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
