the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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