It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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