The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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