Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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