i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
