There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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