Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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