mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize