Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We have started to decorate penises.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
