I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
