Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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