Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
ttyl tear gas
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
