just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
