Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
