so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
