Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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