There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
