He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
