We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize