I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
