what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize