MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i've created a new STD.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
