How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
