Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
