Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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