That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
