just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
never play flip cup with pint glasses
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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