just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
