I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize