remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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