arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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