would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
