Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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