I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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