i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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