i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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