I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
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When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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