matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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