To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
