I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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