Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think people are normalizing furries
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
