pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
