Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
the raccoons are back...
Randomize