He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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