It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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