Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize