i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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