my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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