Already got asked if we're dating
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
