is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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