dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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