the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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