Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize