JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
