I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
