hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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