Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
