you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
