I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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