Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
