Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
