I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You left your underwear on the fireplace
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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