They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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